- scared - 9/21/2005

ok even thoguh ive had a c-section with my first.. that was over 3 yrs ago it was an emergency and it went realyl fast i dont even remember antyhing about it .. this waiting and knowing that im going into to have a c-sction is 10times worse than having one right away beforeu know abt it omg im very nervous all i have done today is cry and think abt it wat if i die wat if my previous scarringm causes me to lose alot of blood wat if because they left jack in so long with my pre e that he is sick and i wont be able to be with him like jasmine i cant handle another baby in the nicumy mind is filled with all the bad wat ifs that could happen wat if omg i was watching this babies birthday on discovery today and her epi didnt work during her c-section so she felt all the cutting everything and they never stopped jsut told her to bare with it and shell be fine.. I DONT WANNA FEEL THEM CUTTING ME UP INSIDE wat if it dosent work and they dont stop and i can feel it all omg i am so excited jack is coming but i am not ready for this section but ui know it has to happen but i have no one to talk to .. kc is not worrie and dosent wanna talk abt it it makes me think he is worried which is why he dosent wanna talk abt it . he keeps saying hes a guy he dosent talk abt it .. wat does that have to do with me dying or something happening wat if i love my son or wat if he loses me omg i need someone to smack me.. uggg i donm wanna do this... im gonna bawl all morning before it.. i need something to calm my nervs i need a hug i need smoeone to say it is gonna be oki told my mom my feelings and she sayd well uve already had one section so ull be okwell HELLO I DONT ERMEMEBR ANY OF IT i was all otu of it on drugs it was very fast emergency and i dont have to sit there and wait to go through it .. ugg im just scaredthanks for reading this girlsi gotat get up at 5am.wow my son is gnona be here soon :) (jasmines very excited too) she keeps saying jacks coming and i go to bettys and mommy go to hospital and jacks coming :)

2 Comments:

At 4:30 PM, Blogger Mama Bear said...

Good Luck, I know exactly how you feel right now. I have my 2nd c-section scheduled for the 3rd and even though I've done it before, I'm still scared.
But like everyone keeps telling me, you'll be fine!
*Hugs*

 
At 12:31 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

remember it will get easier.
your daughter is adjusting to a HUGE change in her life.
I had it explained this way once:
imagine your husband or boyfriend suddenly brings home another woman- and youre supposed to get used to it.
For a child, having another baby come along is a lot like this. They didn't ask for it, they don't understand the changes and they
have a lot of feelings about it that are strong> They also lack the ability to put into words how they feel. SO they act out, cry more, whine more, get angry- it's not meant to upset you or hurt you or to be difficult either.
She's just trying to adjust and make sense of all of it.
a new baby can take a long time for everyone to get used to.
If you need help, reach out to community places. Most communities hve help for moms. Take advantage of it- it makes it all worse to be isolated, and alone.
other women understand and we have been there. It's hard.
Be easy on your daughter,
let a lot of things slide while you all get used to this hard time.
God bless.
Hannah

 

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